10 - Dance with Cochlear Implants: My Experience
In an earlier blog, I discussed my experience with music as a cochlear implant user. In this blog, I'll focus on my journey as a dancer with cochlear implants.
Growing up, I listened only to classical Indian and Bollywood music, then I began listening to English pop and rock music much later. I grew up watching my sister's classical dance performances and practices, so I picked up many classical dance steps by observing others. One day, we played a Bollywood song I had never heard before, and I began dancing to the beat. My mom and sister saw my potential, so my mom looked into a Bollywood dance school for me to start attending in Ottawa.
Growing up, I was very shy, so dance was how I expressed myself. I wasn't a good dancer at first, but with dedication, time, practice, as well as observing others and my choreographer's support and patience, I improved my dancing skills over time. The best part about Bollywood is that it is a fusion dance, so you learn different dancing genres in one. For example, I learned classical, semi-classical, jazz, pop and hip-hop dancing from Bollywood. When I started learning contemporary, it was an easy transition because I had been dancing Bollywood for several years prior, and classical Indian dance steps are similar to contemporary dance. I am grateful that I started out learning Bollywood over other genres because when I talked to a few people who initially learned classical and then joined Bollywood or any other genre, they found it a harder transition, since classical requires precision and skill, which is harder to let go when dancing in other styles, while Bollywood does not require the same level of body movement precision and skills compared to classical Indian dance.
My dance choreographer was amazing since she focused more on fun and using dance as an expression of freedom than on technical skill and dance competitions. She also chose songs we all enjoyed listening to and dancing to, so she took a more collaborative approach rather than relying solely on her ideas. One of my cousins, who learned classical dance, joined one of our Bollywood classes and said it was one of the best dance experiences she'd ever had compared to her classical training. Hats off to those skilled dancers for their hard work, but I am grateful I haven't had any negative experiences when learning dance, like what people go through in dance competitions such as very strict choreographers, strict routines and rules which can lead to stress such as kids crying on the Dance Moms show, or adult dancers crying and getting upset on So You Think You Can Dance show, which is something I would never want to experience in my dance career, so viewing dance through a fun lens is what makes it enjoyable.
During one of my high school dance performances, before we walked out on stage, I suddenly realized I'd forgotten to change my batteries, and it was too late to change them because I was waiting for the music to start and to go onstage. I hoped I wouldn't die during the performance, took a deep breath, and had fun on stage until the fun was cut short when the battery in my stronger ear died only a minute into the performance. During the performance, I tried my best not to make a reaction when the battery died, because at least my right processor was on (it is not as clear as my left, but it was better than not hearing anything), and I continued on with the help of my weaker ear, my dance mate's movements and the floor vibrations. I didn't have as much fun as I usually do because I couldn't hear the music well, but I changed my battery right after the performance and was able to enjoy our following pieces. To this day, I have always checked my batteries and spare batteries before every performance and dance class.
A few times, my processor slipped out of my ear during performances. For example, when I temporarily stopped wearing my processor in my weaker ear, I had to manage with only my left side. Even with retention support to ensure a snug fit, the processor slipped out during my performance. This time I was more nervous since I had a solo piece coming up. Thankfully, the entire processor didn't come out, and I kept fixing it during the performance. I remember feeling very disappointed after the performance because it was obvious that I was fixing my processors. Thankfully, it was in front of a few people, so I didn't worry about it too much afterward.
Fast forward to 2021, I had a dance performance at my cousin's wedding. This performance was my first one after my reimplantation surgery, so I was excited! I practiced a lot beforehand, so I was comfortable with the steps and could fully enjoy it while performing at the wedding. During this time, I had both processors on with extra protection on both ears; however, in the middle of the performance, my right processor fell out, but I continued. I still think it was one of the best performances I did that day. Thankfully, it was my right ear, my weaker side, not my left. If my left side fell out instead, I would let the audience member mouth the songs for me, or pause the music, put the processor back on, then continue with the dance. Since then, I always wear extra protection on my ears during my performances. For my first performance after receiving the Marvel processors, I wore the smallest curved battery so it would sit more snugly in my ear and be less likely to fall out when I moved. If the dance had more head movement, I would add extra protection. Below are a few retention support tools to use to keep your processors in place:
During performances and practices, sometimes I experience headaches due to listening fatigue (lack of sleep, stress and poor appetite affect this as well), so before a performance and practice, when I feel like there is a bit of a headache present, I turn down the volume on my processors as much as possible so that I feel more comfortable when I am moving around. I experienced this a lot right after my diabetes diagnosis, but after doing it a couple of times for several years, it helped reduce my headaches drastically. Additionally, I don't practice for more than 2 hours a day; otherwise, I start to get headaches. Some days I practice for half an hour, while other days I practice for longer.
One time, I was scheduled to perform; however, a dhol (a type of barrel drum played in North India, particularly in the Punjab State) went on for 20 minutes straight right before my performance. I made the mistake of not completely turning off my processors while the dhol was playing because I thought that if I put the processors back on, everything would sound loud for a few moments, which triggers my headaches. Unfortunately, the dance piece had a lot of spins, so I couldn't do them properly because I had a massive headache after the dhol played for a long time. I felt nauseous after the performance, so I had to leave right away. Since then, I made sure there were no dhols before my performances, and if there were, I would take off my processors or go to another room until the dhol was finished. Sometimes my hearing obstacles got in the way of doing what I love, but they don't stop me from continuing with my passion. I consider myself more of a dancer rather than a deaf dancer, because you cannot tell whether I am deaf when I am dancing, and I completely forget about my hearing loss when I am moving along to the music.
Thank you for reading my tenth blog! I hope you enjoyed it, and please don't hesitate to reach out by commenting on this blog or emailing me. I really appreciate it.
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